Okay, y'all. Sorry for the 1:00 am post and now the morning post again.
Hellpppp!
Actually, there's no one that can help me but me. I really do think it is me not feeling well the past few days, but I am just in a FUNK! I counted points yesterday, did good, ate supper at home even though I was sooooo tempted for a steak and fries at Kids Eat Free Day at a local restaurant. Then I literally sulked around pouting that I didn't get to eat out. ROFL. How silly! But that's how I felt - sulky and pouty!
When I don't get what I want, I start filling that void with other things. It was unfeasible to have steak after supper, but it was NOT unfeasible to have chocolate. I made Rice Krispies Treats out of Multigrain Cheerios, and then added some peanut butter and chocolate chip morsels (yep, totally made hubby do a Dollar General run, :-/ ). I ate until I felt sick on the chocolate.
WHYYYY do I do this to myself? Even my husband asked, "Honey, why do you do this to yourself?" I answered honestly, "I don' know! I'm just so ticked that I didn't get steak that now I want to eat and eat until I feel fulfilled." HOW DUMB. But that's how I feel, oddly enough.
I have no doubt that I have food "addictions." Also, this is O week in my cycle. I have found that every. single. month. I have the same exact actions during this week as I do during PMS week. I just don't get it!! I have googled, though, and have found that I'm not alone. Every month, I prepare not to let this week get the best of me. Every month, it does and I have a gain and no self control. Ugh!!!
Also, being sick hasn't helped. I've been drug out by the evening time and have not packed lunches. The husband is ever helpful, but he has been doing evening dishes and kid bed duty since I've not felt well. I'm not going to ask him to stay on his feet even longer and pack our lunches. Plus, I'm sick and sadly bell pepper strips, broccoli florets, and cucumber chunks just don't sound good.
I made a salad with my supper last night and made such a scowling face that everyone wanted to know why I was so grumpy. LOL I wasn't grumpy. That stupid salad just tasted gross to me, and even the RF honey mustard loaded with HFCS didn't help it.
So this morning I wake up late because of that awesome book I stayed up reading. I feel much, much better - just still stuffy. I walk into the kitchen and there is the 9x13 pan staring me in the face and all the memories from last night came flooding back with it - the crunch, the gooeyness of the marshmallows, the saltiness of the pb, the sweetness of the morsels. I know I sound extreme, but in my head that's how I felt. So I ate more of that for my breakfast, along with 2 turkey sausage links for health's sake. LOL
So I'm here confessing once again. I seriously did great all day yesterday until after supper. Then it went steeply downhill. Between hubby, me, and the kids, all those bars are gone now. I don't know if it's good or bad that they're all already gone. At least they aren't here anymore (unless you count them roaming around inside my tummy).
Got this from a good friend this morning. So funny.
I totally had this happen to me where I craved something but didn't let myself have it. I end up eating other stuff hoping the craving went away when I should have just let myself have a bit of the craving instead of all the in-between crap I put in my mouth.
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel better. Sometimes, a salad just isn't filling enough for me. I think night time derailment normally stems from meals earlier on in the day not being satisfying.
Good luck with everything. It's a new day!
So sorry, Staci, but know that many, many of us know that cycle VERY well. I would recommend a few things: first, doing the online (free) "Setting Captives Free" Lord's Table study ... I have done it numerous times and it has taken me year to really let the knowledge sink in and change me. I would like to become a mentor for SCF when I get to goal and stay at goal. Also, "Mindless Eating" by Michelle May - lots of info online, and the "Beck Diet Solution". All of these deal with cognitive therapy - and learning to recognize your triggers and deal with them in a productive way (ie if you really want steak, any amount of broccoli will not satisfy you!) ... I can honestly say that I deal with eating and wanting to eat much better than I ever did since studying all of these. (I bought the last two books second-hand - check thrift stores if you can.)
ReplyDeleteI hope that helps! One last thing - which should probably be the first thing - is remember that God has given us his Holy Spirit to deal with all temptations! ((( hugs )))
Dawn
I quite often have the same reaction to salad. In fact I was thinking that today while I was eating my salad which I was enjoying a lot! I made it with foods that made it tasty to me. I was actually thinking how amazing it was that I enjoyed a salad. A bland salad is something that just doesn't do anything for me :)
ReplyDeleteAs far as the bars go it has taken a long time but I know there are certain foods that are such strong trigger/binge foods that I just cannot have them in the house.
The monthly cycle I can understand well. I no longer have them (due to being an old fart) but when I was getting them the very strong cravings that came along them were the hardest thing food wise I had to deal with.
:) I'm only 5' 0" so I guess I can use that cartoon!!
I know what you mean girl, its like as soon as i mess up, i mess up for like 3 days before I can get back on track! Its awful, But just dont think of the past, just strive to make each meal healthier. You are still being "mindful" of what you eat just because you are reporting back here! I have no real good advice though except give it to God...love u girl!!!
ReplyDeleteI have two suggestions for you. 1. Go to your doctor and ask about PMDD. I suffered with similar symptons for years, thinking I was nuts but I had a real organic issue. I was lucky enough to get the proper medication right off the bat and life was great. 2. I am reading a daily devotional book named Jesus Calling. It is a short, couple of paragraph reading for each day of the year. It has done so much to center my life and help me not to fret over the small stuff.
ReplyDeleteYou are right saying you have to help yourself, but some times that means getting help from others. You can do this. Message me privately if you want any more info on either thing.
I'm praying for you.
Lori
We all have times like that. Just keep going. Tom is a killer. :(
ReplyDelete